Memophage's Mental Meanderings

You are not the car you drive...

Fri, 16 Dec 2005 08:50:33 GMT

I realized tonight that I forgot to put a link to my new Blogger journal from this one, so here ya go. Cross-posting here again...

There's a Doonesbury comic out there somewhere. In it, Mike is talking to his teenaged daughter Alex about being wealthy, since they recently made a lot of money running a dot-com, and bought an SUV. Alex accuses him of being a sell-out, to which Mike replies "I didn't sell out, I bought in!".

If I could find a copy of this particular strip, I'd get it framed and put it on my wall. It's become my motto in life. When I first saw the strip in college, I identified more with Alex. Now, a number of years and a couple of kids later... well, I'll just say that I can see where Mike is coming from.

I only bring this up now because I'm now the proud owner of a Honda Odyssey. Yep, you got it. It's minivan time. And to tell the truth, even though the last vestiges of my youthful idealism are slinking away in shame, I'm not really all that sad about it.

There are certain realities that become extant when you have two kids. A lot of them revolve around getting everyone in and out of cars and hauling around lots of stuff. Strollers, wagons, bags, toys, car seats, kids, groceries, you get the idea. And all of Cynthia's business stuff on top of that... So, for some reason, some company decided to make a vehicle that makes all this crap easier. Lots of room, seats that fold into the floor, doors that open and shut for you, a DVD player, wireless *freakin* headphones... crap, I'm a yuppie. Wait a sec, lemme go look in the mirror... yeah, damnit. There's really no way around it. I worry about airbags for chrissake.

So Honda made this thing, and, well, I'm nothing if not practical. It's a nice piece of engineering, even if a sportscar it ain't. They didn't quite think of everything, but pretty damn close. To plagiarize from Real Life, it's like Honda is personally apologizing for emasculating me.

What the hell, with two kids you can justify anything.

But just in case, I still have my bus.

Long time no see...

Wed, 07 Dec 2005 06:36:21 GMT

(Crossposting here for continuity)

I guess it seems fitting to switch to a new site when I write my first post in like 9 months. At any rate, I'm going to give Blogspot a shot, see how I like it. If not, I'll be back to LJ. But Blogspot looks cool, is much more customizeable than LJ, at least unless you want to fork out some cash. And hey, all my friends are doing it. Yes, I would jump off the bridge. I'm a sheep. Baaa.

Let's see, a quick summary of my life for the last nine months: About eight months ago I sold my house, bought a new house, moved to Portland, started a new job, and had a baby. That whole process took about two months, and we've pretty much been recovering ever since.

Now, the rest of that has definitely caused much chaos in my life, but those last three words are the most important: had a baby. Technically I didn't actually give birth, but you get the idea. At any rate, Cedar Elijah Lucas was born at home (our new home) on May 28, 2005. He's six months old now (man the time flies), and is truly the happiest damn baby I've ever met. He's rolling himself around on the floor, which means he'll be crawling in no time, and is currently chattering away to himself. His sister (who is 3 1/2 now), loves him dearly, although that might well change when he gets old enough to mess with her stuff. :)

I look at the pictures, and can't really believe it's my life. I mean, it's so domestic. But I tell you what, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I feel extremely lucky, and thankful every day. Sometimes life gets really hectic and I forget, but really it's your family and friends that are important, having people around that love you and care about you. The rest is just details.

Portland's pretty cool (actually we live in Beaverton, which is basically the Bellevue of Portland), although we don't really know anyone here. We've met a few people through my work, and through Sage's preschool, but haven't really clicked with anyone. I hope that'll change a bit when Cedar's done breastfeeding and we can get a babysitter and go out to places that aren't necessarily child friendly. In the meantime, we'll just have to make a lot of trips up to Seattle.

Guess that's all for now, short and sweet. Next time I'll rant about something witty and insightful, I promise.

Metablogging...

Wed, 16 Mar 2005 20:49:30 GMT

I just wanted to share a site that I consider to be an informational goldmine: Daily Kos.

I never really got the whole "blogging" thing... perhaps partly because the word "blog" is tough to take seriously, it sounds like a word my three-year-old daughter would use to describe something icky. It's obvious that I have a livejournal, and I occasionally even post to it, but these guys take their blogging very seriously. A lot of the more popular "diaries" are full of comprehensive analysis of world economics and politics that are fascinating to read, and that I don't know nearly enough about. These are frighteningly complex issues, but a lot of these guys are adept at writing articles that are intelligent, yet relatively easy for people (like myself) who don't know much about these sorts of things to understand. It's an entire hive of people analyzing the daily news and world issues.

My favorite author so far is Stirling Newberry. I'd suggest starting out with a couple of his entries, which focus mainly on current Social Security issues: The Rise of Rove's Republic, where he discusses the process of constitutional crisis, and why the Bush administration is forcing one. The scary bit to me is his assertion that the current Social Security debate is really about borrowing (literally) the financial capital of the next generation to use as political power today. Today's post, The Lame Duck Fed Chief Sounding Very Lame, is interesting as he puts U.S. Social Security issues in the larger context of the world economy.

And this is just a sample. I keep coming back to this site all the time, reading new entries. The information doesn't stop, and after a while I've found myself starting to pick up and understand some of the larger issues. My eminently wise friend Mattbear is fond of saying something to the effect of "all wars are about money". This is demonstrably true, but is just a part of the larger assertion that all politics are about money as well.

Unless we start to understand these issues, and learn the ability to see behind the political rhetoric to determine the real causes and see the larger trends, we're sitting ducks. We're going to be responsible for cleaning up the giant mess when the current administration finally leaves office. We're going to be the ones stuck paying off the trillion-dollar credit card bills they're racking up. Our kids are going to be fighting the next war, or the one after that. We all pay something like a third of our income into taxes, and another huge chunk paying off interest on loans, with absolutely no idea where the money's going or what it's being used for.

It's time we figure this stuff out.

Dead Rebels' Society

Thu, 24 Feb 2005 08:31:50 GMT

This was originally a reply to Mattbear's "We can't stop here, it's mortal country!" post, but it became a rant in it's own right, so I'm re-posting it here so y'all can read it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Our generation is an odd one. We were the first generation that grew up constantly being told we were different. We grew up watching TV, listening to the radio, continually hearing ourselves defined as separate and inadequate. We grew up seeing stereotypes and caricatures of ourselves in the media. We were portrayed as sullen kids that played loud rock music, got tattoos and didn't listen to their parents. We were portrayed as stoner kids that didn't do well in school. We were portrayed as a generation whose parents couldn't figure us out, because we didn't care about the same things they did. We were portrayed as the generation that said "Why bother?", and went back to playing Nintendo. "Generation X" has almost always been a derogatory term.

I think that the "rebellion" of our generation was simply living up to that already-formed expectation. I put "rebellion" in quotes because, for the most part, we never really stopped to think what we were rebelling against, it was almost a natural instinct. It's not like we were organized or anything... there wasn't a movement. We were told how the adults in our lives saw us, though the popular media, and we responded accordingly. We even became narcissistic about it, rebelling for rebellions sake, trying to take it farther and farther, playing “I’m more rebel than you”. The edge was taken off when we realized you can only rebel so far before you end up blowing your head off with a shotgun, and the whole thing became pretty hollow after that.

Although it sounds odd to hear myself say it, what we can and need to learn from Hunter S. Thompson and many of his peers is how to rebel constructively. The purpose of a rebel in society is to live outside the prevailing norms, to provide an outside perspective, and to point out the absurdities in life to anyone who will listen. Rebels are there to remind people that there is an alternative, and it's better than this crazy bullshit that's going on over here. This is a valuable function, and one that, particularly in today’s society, *needs* to be done. We need counterpoint. We need counter-culture.

Many of the rebels of the past generation have moved along, and there aren’t enough people in our generation who know who they were. For years, we’ve been pointing out the absurdities in our society to each other, wondering if we were crazy, and threatening to move to Canada if it didn’t get better. Well, we’re not crazy, our society really is this absurd. It’s becoming apparent that things are going to get much worse before they get better. And, as great as it sounds, we’re probably not moving to Canada. Besides, we’d be throwing away a perfectly good country.

This means that we need to get busy. We need to have faith in our convictions, and start bringing them home. Talking, writing books, posting flyers, sending letters, generating TV commercials, running for public office. Getting organized for a change, using this supposed “free press” to get the word out, whatever it takes. It goes against our loner instincts, but it has to be done. It's going to take courage, and it ain't gonna be easy.

I’m proposing the formation of the “Dead Rebels’ Society”, or something equally tongue-in-cheek, to commemorate the rebels of the past, learn from them all we can, and use their collective wisdom to shape our society for the better.

I have an assignment to start with. Pick up Hunter’s last book Hey Rube: Blood Sport, the Bush Doctrine, and the Downward Spiral of Dumbness - Modern History from the Sports Desk, and read it cover-to-cover. I’ll be buying mine today. Take notes, put it under your pillow, whatever. I’d like to have a drink-and-discussion night sometime soon, so post or e-mail deadrebels@gmail.com if you’re interested, and harass everyone you know about it as well. We’re capable of great things...

...and if we follow Mr. Thompson's example, we can have a hell of a good time while we're at it.

Mon, 21 Feb 2005 07:00:24 GMT

Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Five years later? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era -- the kind of peak that never comes again. San Fransisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run... There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not across the Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda... You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning...
And that, I think, was the handle -- that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting -- on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark -- that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.
-Hunter S. Thompson

R.I.P man, you'll be missed.

Merry Christmas!

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 09:40:59 GMT

Just wanted to let you all know that I'm thinking about you, and feeling grateful for everything that I have, and everyone that I know.

I hope that everyone is getting to spend time with family or friends. If you're not, let me know and we'll fix that in the next couple of days.

Merry Christmas, everyone...

Goodnight.

Death of a CR-V

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 03:57:35 GMT

Shopping for cars sucks. Unless you're in a position where you don't really care if you get jacked a few grand, it's a nerve-wracking experience. After looking at them for a while, you come to the conclusion that all cars are crap, and everyone is out to get you. I think this is a good attitude to have, probably because most cars are crap, and almost everyone is out to get you. I hope to persevere and find the guy selling the perfect car that is asking too little because he doesn't know how much it's worth, but I'm not holding my breath.

At any rate, I didn't start this post to complain about buying a car, but to tell why I'm buying a car. Basically, I killed the last one. Totalled. Toast. 2000 CR-V, silver, fresh maintenance, new tires... upside down in a ditch. I'm sad about the car, but I'm not complaining much, because I seem to have escaped unscathed, barring a few sore muscles. I also feel exceptionally lucky that I was the only one in it at the time...

So here's what happened: Picture a hill. There's a road that goes up one side of the hill, is straight for a bit at the top, then goes down the other side. The babysitter's house is at the top. The road is made of these pre-fab concrete slabs all laid out in two rows. They're barely bigger than a lane, really. Unnoticed by me, in many places there is a lip of about an inch on the right side of the slabs where they drop down to meet the shoulder, and in many places this lip is in, or to the left of, the white line.

So, having dropped Sage off at the babysitter's house, I'm going down the hill. The road starts pretty much straight downhill, then jogs a bit to the left before straightening out again, in a sort of s-curve. Apparently I drifted a bit too far to the right going around the second curve, and one or both of my tires went over the lip. On the way back though, my right-rear tire caught on it, and when it finally let go the rear end of the CR-V suddenly shot over towards the left lane, turning me towards the shoulder. By pure reflex I put on the brake a bit and tried to turn back, which may have made matters worse, as the rear end swung around to the right, so I was now facing the oncoming lane. Turning again, I fishtailed the other way, and then back again, and then went off the right side of the road.

I had probably slowed down a bit by that point, and I was probably sliding a bit sideways as well. The rear end of the car swung out to the side of the ditch away from the road, and the car rolled over onto it's roof, where it stopped. My first coherent thought was something like "Hey, I'm upside down." I (rather calmly, I think) turned the car off, popped the seat belt so that I dropped onto the roof, and opened the passenger door. I climbed out and stood up. There was a guy already at the top of the ditch looking at me. I don't recall exactly what I said to him, but the conversation went something like:

Me: "Jesus!"
Him: "You okay?"
Me: "I think so..."
Him: "Anyone else in the car?"
Me: "No, just me..."
Him: "Did you go unconscious at all?"
Me: "I don't think so, I didn't hit my head or anything..."
Him: "You sure you're okay? I'm an EMT, do you want me to call some paramedics to come check you out?"
Me: "No, I really think I'm okay.. might be in a bit of shock though."

A minute or so later, the guy who had been behind me walked up. He asked many the same questions, and said he was a priest. I made a bad joke like "Well, I'd rather need an EMT than a priest, really, but I'm glad you guys are here."

The EMT was really cool, and let me sit in his truck while I called AAA and USAA and everyone. I had to get back in the car to find my wallet, which was floating in the creek-water pooling in the roof. Two tow trucks showed up after a while, rolled the car back over, pulled it out of the ditch, and we took it to the auto body shop. I'd scooped up a couple hundred pounds of dense creek-bottom mud with the roof of my car, so Cynthia brought down some garbage bags and rubber gloves and we sifted through the mud in the back to get whatever was salvageable. That car was in sad shape...

The back window had been broken out by the mud and a metal pipe, the windshield was cracked, and there were dents in the front and back of the roof, the hood, and just about everywhere else. I think it probably would have moved under it's own power, but not for long. USAA sent out an inspector later that day, then called me up and said "Yep, it's totalled". We might actually get back a few grand back more than we still owed on it, so it's not a total loss on our part.

Lessons of the day:
-Watch out for those pre-fab roads, that lip is a bitch.
-If you're going to roll your car into a ditch, do it where there aren't any solid obstacles. Mud and blackberry bushes will cushion things a bit too.
-CR-Vs actually hold their value pretty well.
-If *anyone* in your family has been in the military, first force them to get USAA auto insurance, then you get on it too. The gecko can go to hell.

After something like this happens, you want everything around you to just stop for a bit while you process things. I suppose if I'd ended up in the hospital maybe I'd have that time, but life is moving too fast right now, so I guess I have to process on the run. Get up, go to work, go shop for a new car...

But I'm finding there are a lot of things I look at just a bit different now, and appreciate a lot more. Give yourselves and everyone you know an extra hug, just for me.

Bizzaro Monday...

Tue, 23 Nov 2004 03:15:02 GMT

I read a lot of science fiction, but I still often find that the strangest things happen in real life, particularly in the areas of biology. Nature definitely has created some bizarre creatures (read up on the Sea Squirt, or the crab parasite Succulina, I dare you), but the things that humans are doing with their own cells these days just boggle my mind.

I ran across this Washington Post article yesterday, which I suggest you read. The jist of it is that there is a great deal of research going on these days involving injecting human stem cells into developing animal embryos. For anyone who may have been intentionally hiding under a large rock during the presidential campaigns, a human stem cell is an embryonic cell that is un-differentiated, and thus has the capability of becoming any one of the 200+ types of cells in the human body. Partially differentiated stem cells are used as well. If you read the article, they talk about introducing human stem cells that have differentiated into blood-producing tissue into pig embryos. The cells take root before the immune system develops, and so the immune system treats them as normal cells and doesn't kill them off. What you end up with is a pig with both standard pig blood cells, and *also* human blood cells circulating in its body, apparently with no ill effect to the animal.

This is also being done with organ tissue. If you introduce human liver-differentiated cells into a sheep embryo, then the sheep will grow a liver containing human liver cells. Theoretically, you could transplant this liver into a compatible human. The human's immune system would kill off the sheep cells, leaving the human cells to take root and grow into a replacement liver. That's the idea anyhow.

But this quote just boggled my mind: The risk, they say, is that some human cells will find their way to the developing testes or ovaries, where they might grow into human sperm and eggs. If two such chimeras -- say, mice -- were to mate, a human embryo might form, trapped in a mouse.

I couldn't make this stuff up if you paid me.

It just seems weird that human stem cells will follow the template already existing in the animal embryo, providing filling, but acting within the architectural plan already laid out to create a whole, viable creature. The weirder thing though, is they found that certain pig and human cells will actually fuse, creating hybrid cells that contain genes from both sets of DNA.

As noted above, the term for a creature made up of cells from more than one species is Chimera, pronouced ki-mee-ra. While I was digging around on Google for more information on this, I came across some other weird stuff.

We all know that fraternal twins are formed when two eggs are fertilized separately, and implant, forming two embryos. Sometimes, albeit rarely, early on in the process one embryo will absorb the other. This can result in a single person with two complete sets of DNA, also known as a chimera. Usually certain organs are made up of cells from one set, and others from the other set, although they can mix and fuse as well. You can end up with a person with two blood types, or two differently-colored eyes. If the twins were of opposite sexes, you may see hermaphrodism. Most of the time though, chimaeric humans go through life not knowing they're genetically different than anyone else...

Apparently the most famous case is of a woman that was being tested for donors for a kidney transplant. They took DNA samples from her and from her three kids. She was rather surprised to be told that two of her children weren't hers, at least genetically. After some more testing, they figured out the problem, that she really just had two sets of DNA. There is an interesting NPR interview with her here.

Life never ceases to amaze me...

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 20:06:24 GMT

Start your day off right...

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 21:08:40 GMT

So we have this cat. His name's Raja, he's a fairly large, black, male cat. He's very quiet, and mostly just stares at you with those big green eyes. That, and his size, mostly gives off a "don't mess with me" vibe, except when he deigns to actually meow. Then his voice is this high-pitched, squeaky thing that gives the lie to the whole charade. He's really just a cuddly pushover. Raja, however, has a health issue I haven't heard of anyone else having with their cat.

He's bulimic.

We've tried various different foods. We've taken him to the vet and had him checked out, and started feeding him that expensive, non-allergenic cat food based on rabbit and deer. We've tried soft food, we've made sure he eats the same thing for months on end "so his stomach can get used to it". No avail. As far as we can tell, and maybe it's some territorial hard-wired behaviour, he simply eats all he can until his little stomach can't possibly hold anymore. Then he walks around as a little black furry time bomb waiting to explode.

You'll be sitting around the house relaxing, watching TV or talking to someone, and suddenly you hear "Herrk! Hrumm..Hrumm..Hrumm..Hrummp... Haaackk!!!" and there's a huge pile of barely digested cat food on the floor. Of course, being a cat, Raja often likes to hang out in high places around the house. So he might be up on the wall at the top of the stairs, and "Haaackk!!!", now you have cat puke sliding down between the wall and the bookcase. Or "Haaackk!!! and there's cat food chunks on the back of the TV, or on top of your computer monitor. He usually looks sheepish, and tries to scrape the carpet over it or something, but it really doesn't help.

A new thing though, twice in the last month in fact, I've had the wonderful experience of waking up in the middle of the night with cat puke on my feet. It goes something like... (roll over), rustle, rustle, *poink* What the hell? Ewww... arrgggh...

I don't know if he intentionally gets under the sheets, or if he just hurks on the bed and I move the blanket over it, or what, but there's nothing quite like waking up at 4 a.m. with your feet in cold cat vomit. Yech.

Last night, Cynthia and I were awake already, changing Sage's nighttime diaper, and had just gotten back in bed. I'm just starting to doze off and, somewhere on the bed I hear "Herrk! Hrumm.. Hrumm.." I quickly start trying to kick him off the bed, but I can't find him anywhere. Cyn asks "Did you get him off", and I say "I don't think so", so she starts kicking around. Then comes the "Haaackkk!!!". I sigh and get up and go turn on the light. Apparently we both missed.. there's a two-foot projectile of cat spew going down the corner of the mattress and across the floor. Grrr..... Clean it up, go back to bed... at least it wasn't on my feet.

So, as you go about your day, whatever else may or may not be going right in your life, you can comfort yourself with this thought:

"At least I didn't wake up in cat puke this morning."

Have a great day...

Debates

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 06:54:16 GMT

For anyone who hasn't seen either of the other two, I would *highly* recommend watching the debate this Wednesday. Don't listen to any of the pre-news crap, don't listen to any of the post-debate analysis. Just turn on the TV at 6:00p.m. Wednesday, watch for 90 minutes, and turn it back off. I'll tell you why...

Aside from the debates that were held in 2000, this is the *only* time you will see the president of our country have to think for, and stand up for himself. It's truly bizarre to watch. He does great when he can get on a roll and spout his pre-packaged black-and-white moral messages, but when he actually has to answer a thoughtful challenge it's.. well, it's depressing. And it's totally depressing to see him lose his cool and argue with the debate ref.

Normally, every, and I mean *every* time you see Bush giving a speech on TV, it's before a specially selected audience that is hand-picked to cheer and clap and approve. I'm not kidding, this really freaks me out. I thought only communist countries pulled off this kind of propaganda. To be fair, I have no idea if Clinton did the same sort of thing, but I don't think so. Bush never has to answer challenges, he rarely gives press conferences. He is never faced with tough questions. He is surrounded by "yes men". Our country is currently OWNED by Republicans in House, Senate, and apparently the Supreme Court, so he has no true challengers. Kerry is the first serious challenge he's had to answer in four years. It is becoming increasingly apparent to me that the "Leader of the Free World" lives in a little bubble. Well, actually a rather big bubble, like Truman Show sized.

I have a little issue with embarrasing movies, like American Pie-style, when they put the characters in situations in which you *know* what's coming, and the character just freezes in deer-in-the-headlights mode, or in which someone is making a total fool out of themselves but just won't stop talking. I can't watch those scenes. My eyes wander, I look off to the left or right, or hold my hand up near my eyes like I'm not watching. No problems with sex, gore or violence, but I can't handle embarrassment.

Whenever Bush has to answer a question during the debates, I have the same reaction. I'll watch Kerry, listen, try to understand the nuances of the points he makes. And I usually do, whether or not I actually agree with them. But when Bush starts talking, I look away. It's a gut reaction.

But don't take my word for it. Tune in yourself, watch the debate, and tell me what you think.

And if you want to watch the second debate, go here.

Recycled Web: One of the coolest poems I've ever read.

Fri, 10 Sep 2004 14:42:10 GMT

In case you hadn't noticed,
it has somehow become uncool
to sound like you know what you're talking about?
Or believe strongly in what you're saying?
Invisible question marks and parenthetical (you know?)'s
have been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences?
Even when those sentences aren't, like, questions? You know?

Declarative sentences - so-called
because they used to, like, DECLARE things to be true
as opposed to other things which were, like, not -
have been infected by a totally hip
and tragically cool interrogative tone? You know?
Like, don't think I'm uncool just because I've noticed this;
this is just like the word on the street, you know?
It's like what I've heard?
I have nothing personally invested in my own opinions, okay?
I'm just inviting you to join me in my uncertainty?

What has happened to our conviction?
Where are the limbs out on which we once walked?
Have they been, like, chopped down
with the rest of the rain forest?
Or do we have, like, nothing to say?
Has society become so, like, totally . . .
I mean absolutely . . . You know?
That we've just gotten to the point where it's just, like . . .
whatever!

And so actually our disarticulation . . . ness
is just a clever sort of . . . thing
to disguise the fact that we've become
the most aggressively inarticulate generation
to come along since . . .
you know, a long, long time ago!

I entreat you, I implore you, I exhort you,
I challenge you: To speak with conviction.
To say what you believe in a manner that bespeaks
the determination with which you believe it.
Because contrary to the wisdom of the bumper sticker,
it is not enough these days to simply QUESTION AUTHORITY.
You have to speak with it, too.

- Taylor Mali

Decompression at 1 a.m...

Thu, 09 Sep 2004 14:38:42 GMT

I'm awake at 1:15 a.m. I know I'm going to pay for this tomorrow, but I have that feeling that I need to write, and I won't be able to sleep until I do.

Alright.. all you guys out there, repeat after me: "I will *not* let my wife (or girlfriend, or whatever) mess with my hair". Of course, this assumes that you have an SO, *and* that you have hair. When we were getting ready to leave for Burning Man, I let Cynthia bleach my hair and dye it blue and purple. It looked pretty cool, actually, but during the week the dye mostly washed out, and I knew I'd want to dye it back to a normal color after we returned. When we did get back, we were both kindof sick, and didn't make it to the store, so we dyed my hair back with some stuff Cyn had around the house, which was named "Cinnamon". You got it.. my hair is now a rather magenta sort of color, which looks more purple around where the blue spots were. In addition, I've been growing my beard out over the trip. I guess I have a sort of burner/wildman look going now. One of my co-workers asked me (in a ribbing sort of way) if I'd been standing too close to the fire... Don't tell anyone, but I'm actually starting to like this look. It might grow on me...

When I started this blog, it was called something like "Countdown to Burning Man". I changed it eventually, because I didn't think we were going to be able to make it, and I was getting rather bitter. In the last month before the event, things just seemed to work out though, and we did make it. My parents pulled through with an offer to watch Sage for a whole week (!!!), we got our VW bus worked on in time to drive it down, and the gorgeous orange beast got us down to the middle of the Nevada desert and back with no worse problem than a flaky blinker. I love that bus, I'm never getting rid of it.

As for the event itself... I really could write for hours. We camped with a group of people we mostly didn't know, and they turned out to be a wonderful crew that I hope we can develop stronger friendships with over time. Our good friends were camped near enough to us that we could walk or bike to visit each other, and we had many crazy adventures wandering around the playa in the evenings. I feel like I missed out on a lot of the event itself this year.. I didn't really even make it over to the other side of the city. That's made up for, however, by the fact that I got to meet a lot of great people, and was able to spend wonderful bonding time with Cynthia (which we desperately needed), and other great friends that I haven't been able to spend much time with lately. All of our lives have just become too busy lately, and it's wonderful to have some time in the desert, away from the daily grind, when we can just spend time together and act like kids. :)

I continually find it intriguing how being at Burning Man affects people. This was my sixth year, and I've seen a lot of drama during those cumulative six weeks. Being in the desert, in that harsh environment, seems to strip away alot of the crap we tell ourselves, a lot of the inhibitions we normally hold onto, and tends to bring us back to the core of our beings.... for better or worse. People build all these walls, and put up facades, for many varying reasons. Some of them may even be good reasons. But when you've put yourself in a situation where they don't apply, or when you just can't support them anymore and they come crashing down around you... well, you can find out what you're really made of, what the people you consider your friends are made of, and what the relationships you're in are made of. I've seen people that just can't handle it, and I've seen relationships that aren't able to take the strain.

The flipside is, the fires that burn can also forge, sometimes simultaneously. Friendships or relationships forged in or reaffirmed by our time in the desert take on a special meaning, and seem to have a permanence like no other. Each time we go the extraneous crap is burned away, and what remains is re-molded like tempered steel. I feel extremely fortunate to have a number of these relationships, a number of friendships that have been founded over time with no help from the desert, and a marriage (although that term doesn't really do it justice) that only gets stronger each time...

I am honored that I know each one of you, and am able to consider you my friends, and my family. I wish all of you the best in whatever you're doing, and fervently wish that it will keep you happy and healthy. And in another year, who knows? Maybe we'll all be out in the middle of some desert, burnin' it all away...

Alright, maybe I can sleep now.

Why don't you just go cry about it...

Thu, 24 Jun 2004 07:07:50 GMT

Just saw this bumper sticker for sale... thought some of you might be interested. >:-)

(Click on the image to go to ninjagear.com)

Shameless plug: A friend of mine actually runs the site, they have all sorts of cool, attitude-filled gear for sale.

Mouse Training...

Sat, 19 Jun 2004 08:57:03 GMT

Well, that does it. My daughter (who is 2 1/4 years old, mind you) just learned how to use a mouse. She's sitting at the computer, playing this Sesame Street game where you have to click on eggs as Elmo counts them. Clicking those eggs, all on her own. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... My life is complete. Now I just have to teach her to play Warcraft...

God's Unwanted Cheerleader

Wed, 11 Feb 2004 07:29:37 GMT

Actually, this happened to me about a year and half ago, summer of '02, as I was getting off work and heading for the bus. I wrote everything down immediately after it happened, so I'm pretty sure I got it word for word. I ran across it in a notebook the other day, and thought I'd transcribe it in for your enjoyment. You never know what you'll run across downtown...

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"...like the man in there! A weasel! A weasel!"

As the bus passed by, I could begin to hear what he was shouting. He had been standing on the corner of 4th and Columbia, and was pointing at the windows of McCormick & Schmick's, presumably at a gentleman inside with a moral resemblance to a large rodent.

He began strutting off down 4th Ave. towards the bus stop I wanted to be at. Myself and a couple other wary pedestrians were close behind, pacing ourselves to keep an even distance, attempting to keep an eye on him without actually making eye contact.

A waitress, standing out front smoking and having been subjected to his monologue, gave a wry grin and shrugged, as people do when something doesn't make sense, and they know you saw it too. "I guess he thinks he's a weasel." I grinned back, shrugged, and walked by.

He's a short guy, but wiry and strong. He looks about 40, mostly bald with an almost non-existent ring of grey hair around the back of his head, but he has that spry, energetic walk I attribute to joggers or gym teachers. He's wearing a green shirt with the sleeves cut off, over a black turtleneck, black jeans, and running shoes. I startle as he whips around suddenly and begins punching the coin return buttons on all the newspaper boxes.

"Fucking godless sons of bitches! Nobody stands between me and my wife! Nobody stands between me and my wife!" He belts out suddenly, pointing straight across the street, but shouting in my direction. I'm studiously checking the time, simply waiting for my bus. "I'll kick out all the dogs! I'll kick out all those dogs!"

A moment passes as he stalks over to the corner. "What's the strongest muscle in the human body, you men and women? What's the strongest muscle in the human body? I'll bet you don't have one! I'll bet you don't have one! It's the heart! You godless fuckers have hearts of stone, but I have a heart of flesh!"

The walk signal changes, and he begins to cross. Suddenly his arms shoot up, forming a "V", pointing as if his index fingers could pierce the sky. "Who's number one?! Who's number one?! Jesus! Jesus!!!" He stops briefly on the opposite corner and glares around accusingly.

The 311 to Woodinville pulls up and I hop in the back seat. As the bus pulls away I look back to see him heading off southbound, fingers in the sky, cheerleading the word of God.

Shifting Sands...

Sat, 20 Dec 2003 00:14:29 GMT

I heard an excellent report on NPR last night called "Shifting Sands: Saudi Arabia". It provides a really interesting look at the country of Saudi Arabia; politics, religion, culture, and problems the country is having becoming a "modern society".

I highly recommend you listen to it or read the transcipt, available at insideout.org.

The thing I found most interesting is the discussion of Al-Qaeda, and why so many Saudis are drawn to them and other terrorist organizations...

Ever since 9/11 I hear news organizations spouting questions like "Who are they and why do they hate us?" We've fought two wars, one for retaliation and one for prevention, and I have yet to hear a satisfactory response to these questions, until now. I've had bits of information, but haven't been able to tie it into a coherent picture in my head.

For instance:
Although Al-Qaeda was based in Afghanistan, the majority of the hijackers were Saudi. Yet, as a country we have good relations with Saudi Arabia. I don't buy the "they hate freedom" and "they just want to kill" arguments put forth by our president, so what's the real issue?

Everyone knows that the Bush family has financial ties to Saudi Arabia, but I don't buy the simplistic "it's all about oil" argument either.

But sometimes you hear a new story, or piece of information, and it rings true and clicks with what you know, suddenly providing a complete picture of the issue. That's how I felt listening to this program. I'll try to summarize, but I doubt I'll do justice.

Related trends:
-Saudi Arabia is a monarchy, governed by the al-Saud princes. Crown Prince Abdullah is the current ruler.
-Large sections of Saudi society are directly funded by the Saudi regime, including the entire justice system (with clergymen as judges), the police (of the "Ministry for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice"), and all three religious universities and their related schools. This creates such a mix of government and religion that people can't criticize one without criticizing the other. Thus, if anyone speaks out against the government *or* Islam, not only are they likely to lose their job, but they'll be labelled a heretic and ostracized, jailed, or killed. Islam in Saudi Arabia isn't "just" a religion, it's a government, a way of life, everything.
-Saudis are increasingly disgruntled over the actions of their government. They don't like seeing the Saudi regime effectively loot the country of it's oil, sell it to the U.S., and use the money to serve their own interests. In fact, since U.S. interests align so nicely with the interests of the repressive Saudi regime, many Saudis believe that the U.S. and the Saudi regime actively conspire to repress the Saudi people.

These trends have merged in an interesting manner. A brand of more violent Islam has become popular among people who are pissed off but have no outlet for their anger. Angry Saudis can't express displeasure at their own government, but they can express displeasure at the West. The U.S. in particular bears the brunt of this because of our relationship with the al-Saud family and the perception that we're co-conspirators. This hasn't exactly been discouraged by the Saudi government because it focuses anger on someone other than the Saudi government. Western society is also an easy target since, between a president who continually spouts Christian platitudes, and women like Ms. Spears who don't wear much clothing, we're obviously heathens destined to burn in hell.

Now we've set the stage for Mr. Laden. Him and his minions come along and tell Saudis something like "Listen. The U.S. and the Saudi government aren't conspiring... the U.S. government actually controls the Al-Saud family. Your entire country is really just a U.S. puppet allowing them to steal oil from you. But we have a way to stop this..."

It's not really a huge mental leap. In fact, it sounds a lot more plausible than things I've heard from conspiracy theorists in the U.S. So rather than deal with the Saudi government, they come straight to the "source", namely us.

This has created a weird feedback loop in Saudi society... once it became a religious issue, Islamic clerics started issuing Fatwas (edicts that must be obeyed) encouraging hatred of and violence toward the west. What started as a sort of grass-roots anger movement has worked it's way up the societal influence ladder. Since not even the crown princes are above religion, and in order to prevent the clerics from issuing Fatwas agains the Saudi government itself - it has become necessary for them to fund the fundamentalist (Wahhabi) clerics and terrorist organizations like Al-Qaeda with stated missions such as the destruction of western society.

So now Saudi Arabia has developed a weird societal schizophrenia. The U.S. needs oil from them, and the Saudi government wants to sell it to us because it makes them filthy rich and powerful. But much of the Saudi citizenry hates us because they think we're controlling their government, and their religion has dictated that we're "evil". So they take our money and funnel it to organizations that use it to attack us. Thus, we end up with Al-Qaeda-guided Saudis flying planes into U.S. buildings. However, as the recent terror attacks in Riyadh have showed, the terrorists are also turning back on them as well.

Hmm.. I just found another site, the Institute for the Analysis of Global Security, that bears out a lot of these conclusions as well.

I admit that this is probably a simplistic view of the situation, and may be incorrect in part, but it ties things together in a way that makes a great deal of sense. If this is a relatively accurate assessment, it seems that the situation could get a lot worse before it gets better.

You can bet I'll be considering and tracking this a lot more in the future... I'll post interesting corrections or developments.

Two rants in two days...

Thu, 18 Dec 2003 20:54:48 GMT

First, LOTR is probably the best movie I've *ever* seen. After seeing so many movies that completely butchered and maimed my childhood nostaligia, they make this. I couldn't have asked for a better movie. If only they were all made like this...

Well, with my freshly-minted "license to rant" in hand, (thanks Matt :)), here's the latest:

I was riding the bus this morning, and happened to be sitting in front of two women, who are apparently attorneys. One was relating the story of a client of hers, an 18 year-old guy (now 22) who is in a Washington state prison.

I didn't get the details of why he was in there, other than it was a non-violent crime, and he'd been giving a girl a ride home who apparently turned around later and accused him of something... apparently she was a couple years younger than him, so I'm assuming statutory rape or some such. The attorney maintained he was innocent. The client also apparently was on the shorter side, and not very physically intimidating.

At any rate, as soon as he arrived at the prison, he was approached by a guy who was very physically intimidating, and was apparently doing time for the murder of a sherriff. He approached the boy and said "I hear you're a sissy" (attourney's words), and something about making the boy his bitch. (my interpretation of the attourney's words). The boy realized he either had to make and stand and fight this guy who was much larger than him, or be subjected to this the entire time he was in prison, so he elected to fight. The prison guards (who don't like cop-killers, and were apparently looking for an excuse) immediately broke up the fight by shooting the large man, who subsequently died. They then approached the boy, and told him that he should testify that he was beaten to a pulp and afraid for his life, and that the guards did the right thing by shooting the other prisoner. They boy refused, and maintained that the shooting was unnecessary, so the guards made his life hell for a while, revoking his prison privileges and taking away his "good behaviour" time.

Eventually, with the help of a different attorney, he made his case in court, got his "good behaviour" record reinstated, and was moved down to a prison in Oregon so he wouldn't be subject to retaliatory abuse from the guards in Washington State. I didn't hear if the guards were ever actually accused of a crime.

Along with other stories I've heard, this makes me think that living in a U.S. Prison must a lot like living in a war zone. Continual threat of violence, death, or sexual assault. No privacy, no rights, no dignity, and those that are supposed to protect you (or at least guard you) might decide to torture and abuse you for their own pleasure. A black market economy (cigarettes, drugs, sex, whatever) that flourishes only with the complicity of the guards...

I mean, we have an entire national culture making jokes about prisoners being violated in "federal 'pound-me-in-the-ass' prison". "Big, black Bubba" is a national stereotype. We've come to expect that rape is just a part of the "prison experience" in this country, and that people in prison deserve this.

Nobody deserves to get AIDS, or herpes, or hepatitis inflicted upon them in prison. You may argue otherwise in certain cases, in which case we should make it a standard punishment meted out by the state, not inflicted as a by-product of a prison stay.

I mean, I understand that people are in prison because they did something wrong, and the majority of them actually deserve to be there (although there will always be some innocent men in prison). I also understand that people are in prison to be punished (or at least keep them away from the rest of us), and the facilities shouldn't be a country club and a golf course.

But the reality is that our county currently has over two million people in jail or prison (The highest per-capita prison population in the world, thank you very much). Some of them are on death row, or are locked up for life, but most of them will be released at some point. You can say we don't owe these people anything, but life will be a lot smoother for all of us if we have two million ex-cons actually equipped to deal with life in the real world when they're released from prison. The reality is that if a boy is arrested at 18 and sentenced to, say, five years in prison where he's surrounded by violent criminals of all stripes, continual threat of (or actual) rape, black market smuggling and prison guards who follow their own law, the chances of his going to college and becoming a productive member of society are pretty damn slim. The formative years of this boy's life have been spent protecting his ass and establishing his place in the pecking order among the ugliest human beings on earth. Most likely he'd work at Manpower for a while until something more lucrative came along, like drug running or burglary, and then he'd end up back in prison in fairly short order.

Of course, since felons can't vote, and usually don't contribute to election campaigns, these issues don't pop up on the political radar very much. Unless Chelsea or one of the Bush twins gets sentenced to federal prison, I doubt we're likely to see many national expose`s about how horrible our prison system is.

When our state, or our country treats our prisoners inhumanely, it brings us *all* down, and makes us all accomplices to crimes committed in our name, with our money, with our complicity. By locking them in a concrete building, we have assumed ultimate responsibility for them, and it becomes our duty to either make sure they're never released into society again, or do our best to prepare them (and us) for that eventuality. A lot of people are probably beyond "correction" (this is the corrections industry, after all) , but we should avoid taking small-time criminals and turning them into career felons in some twisted boot camp.

Can I SPAM? Yes I can! I like to send SPAM, Sam I am.

Wed, 17 Dec 2003 21:44:08 GMT

Well, it's official. Bush signed the "CAN SPAM Act of 2003" *cough* into law today. I've modified my stance a little bit since my last post on the subject:

Worse than useless.

The name of this bill becomes surprisingly appropriate, since it actually increases the legality of spam in this country. There are two reasons for this assertion:

-38 States have passed anti-spam laws of their own, and the other 12 would probably have followed suit shortly. California and Delaware have the most restrictive opt-in rules. The CAN-SPAM act (with an opt-out requirement) will pre-empt these state laws.

-The CAN-SPAM act's opt-out requirement requires that spammers (in the US) stop sending you spam if you "decline to receive further commercial electronic mail messages from the sender". If you look at this the other way though, it legally allows each spammer to send you as much spam as they can manage before you notify them. Since a computer can send about a zillion e-mails a minute, I could still fill up your inbox before you can click "opt-out" and "send".

Oh, and the federal government is going to create a "do-not-spam" list, which they're going to distribute to spammers? And the spammers aren't going to give this list (of presumably valid e-mail addresses) to their affiliates in say, China?

You see, spammers already do this trick. Most of the time when they send a message, they don't know if the e-mail address is valid or not. But in the message they'll embed a small graphic (usually white, 1x1 pixel) that you can't see. But when you open the e-mail (usually in Outlook, which automatically downloads the graphic), they see the unique code transmitted with the URL so they know which message it came from, and they say "Woohoo! We got a live one", and proceed to send you *more* spam, and sell their list of "valid sucker" addresses to other spammers for more money. So now they have the U.S. goverment doing their work of collecting "valid sucker" addresses for them. It's beautiful. (sigh)

And don't let me forget... the Internet is an international network, and the U.S. doesn't have jurisdiction over the whole thing. Granted, England has their own anti-spam laws, but this still leaves about 500 million other computers to send SPAM from.

Of course, this has the added benefit of entirely new reasons to invade small countries. Could give new meaning to the term "SPAM Wars". I'd recommend that the countries of Trinidad, Madagascar, Albania, and Jordan not let their citizens operate spam relays, or they could be next. After all, you're either with us or you're against us.

Hmm.. my blog seems to have turned into a giant rant session lately.

In other news, I'm almost finished with my first quarter of class, only two days left. And we're getting new windows installed in our house. And Sage is the cutest thing ever (although she's driving her mother crazy). :)

More soon...

Gerrymandering

Tue, 09 Dec 2003 17:30:49 GMT

I've done some researching about the practice of "Gerrymandering" lately, and I find this practice rather disturbing. The word "Gerrymander" has an interesting history that also gives some explanation of the topic, so let me educate you...

The U.S. Senate is made up of two representatives from each state in the union, affording each state equal representation. In the House of Representatives, however, each state has a number of representatives determined by its population, so that larger states have more representatives, and hence more sway in Congress. Hence, each state is divided up into "congressional districts", each of which elects one representative to the House.

Furthermore, the boundaries of the congressional districts in each state are supposed to be drawn such that all districts in that state have a roughly equal population. (For instance, Washington State has a population of ~5.9 million, so each of it's 49 congressional districts have a population of ~120,288 persons.) In this way, the entire U.S. ends up being divided into congressional districts, with each district having equal representation. Often, however, representatives from districts with common interests (such as being located in the same state), band together to sway the law in their favor.

This is all well and good. However, since population is always changing (damn people, always making things messy), every so often each state has to re-determine the boundaries of the election districts so that they have equal population again. This generally occurs every ten years, just after the national census, which lets the government know how many people were born, died, moved, etc. and where they all happen to be now. Once this data is tabulated, new congressional district boundaries are drawn that even things out. These are then codified into law and passed by the state legislature. Neat and tidy.

Almost.

The state legislature is a partisan body. That is, it is made up of representatives elected by affiliation with a political group, usually either the Democrat or Republican parties. The legislators belonging to each party naturally want to maximize their party's representation in Congress, and have proven they're not above exploiting grey areas of the law to do so. Thus, whatever party currently has the most representatives in the state legislature (and thus has more influence to pass laws favorable to their party) can redraw the boundaries of the congressional districts, shifting the percentages of different demographics in each district so that their party is more likely to get the majority of votes. This state of affairs allows party reps in the state government to hand-pick voters that will vote for their party. This is the essence of gerrymandering: politicians choosing their voters.

This has been going on for quite some time. The term "gerrymandering" was coined in 1812 from "The Gerry-mander", a political cartoon by the Boston Weekly Messenger depicting the shape of a congressional district in Massachusetts that had been redrawn in such an obviously contrived way that it looked like a salamander. As Governor Elbridge Gerry had signed the reapportionment bill, the editor dubbed it the "Gerry-mander". And here we are, almost 200 years later.

This really hasn't become an issue until the last couple of decades for two reasons. One, the majority parties until recently have been satisfied with gerrymandering only every ten years, after the census was taken. It was apparently seen as a "perk" of being the majority party, and since all parties could do it when they had the chance, it just became part of the game. Lately though (and this was what all the hooplah in Texas was about recently), majority parties have been re-drawing congressional district maps in their favor as soon as they can get away with it. This appears to have crossed the line in a lot of people's minds.

The second reason is the advent of computers. Until recently there was a limit to the "resolution" of gerrymandered maps. As in the original Gerry-mander, politicians were content to keep to county lines. While this was manipulative, there was a limit to how much influence you could really sway. But with modern demographics and computers, it is possible to divide cities into "pie slices", with the wealthy (presumably white and republican) voters in one district, and minorities (presumably less wealthy and democratic-leaning) into a different district. It has become possible, to the city-block level, to arrange districts in such a manner that they have an equal population, while providing a majority of persons likely to vote in a particular way. In this manner you end up with congressional districts stretched way out of any reasonable proportion, such as the fourth congressional election district in Louisiana, and New York's 12th congressional "Bullwinkle" district, which is shaped somewhat like a moose's head. This seems to have crossed the "reasonable" line as well, and there are all sorts of current lawsuits pending over congressional districts such as the new ones in Texas (pdf).

There are laws governing the creation of congressional districts (the district has to be one contiguous piece of land, among others), but this give a lot of leeway for where you can draw the borders. Rather than getting into all that here, I suggest you go to fraudfactor.com and look at the graphics they have (a couple of which I linked to above) which mathematically depict possible limits, and show just how absurd things could really get.

Twelve states have come up with a reasonable solution, which is to have someone other than the legislature draw the redistricting lines and then give the new map to the legislature to be passed. Thankfully, Washington State is among the six that have independent Congressional Redistricting Commissions. Iowa interestingly allows the legislature to draw the boundaries, but forces them to do so without any knowledge of demographic data.

The upshot to all this is that things have gotten so absurd that three legal cases involving gerrymandering have finally reached the Supreme Court. It is hoped they will rule on the constitutionality of the gerrymandering process, although they couldn't agree on anything when they had their last chance in 1986. Here's to hoping.

Holy Crap, it's December Already!!!

Mon, 01 Dec 2003 20:08:45 GMT

Happy December! Hard to believe we're almost up to 2k4... had a great weekend, my wife's family came up for Thanksgiving dinner. It was our first time hosting a major family function at our house, but things went off almost flawlessly, and our house seems a bit more officially our "home" now.

For those of you like myself who like to worry about things you have no control over, here are two things:
First, a link to the Landslides at Mount Rainier website, detailing that paths of the last two mudslides (Mr. Rainier apparently sheds it's rotten skin every 500 years or so), and explaining that we're overdue for another one.
Second, a link to a discussion on Plastic of the Yellowstone Super-Volcano, that fact that it's overdue for an eruption that happens approximately 600,000 years, and that if it does erupt we're most likely all toast.

Now that you're awake...

I've been reading rants lately by The Angry Economist, a guy named Russ Nelson who is making a mission out of education laypeople about the science of economics. His latest entry is about why minimum wage laws should be abolished. An interesting read, since minimum wage laws have been in effect my entire life, and I've always just taken them for granted. An interesting point which he doesn't discuss is that by making it illegal to pay people less than minimum wage for any job, a supply/demand gap is created which becomes filled with people willing to work illegally for less than mininum wage. In Washington state, this creates a large gap in the agricultural sector (mainly apples), and is filled in large part by Mexican immigrants willing to live in temporary shelter on orchards and perform cheap harvesting labor. If minimum wage laws didn't exist, this labor would be regulated, possibly filled by American workers, and taxed.

At any rate, here's the link to his archive page. I'm sure you can find an economic analysis of some issue that interests you. I don't agree with all his arguments, but at least they're interesting and generally well thought-out.

An interesting article on a number of ATMs manufactured by Diebold (the company I ranted about before that makes voting machines) running Windows XP embedded that were compromised by the RPC DCOM exploit included in the NACHI worm. We're only going to see more of this as the computers in ATMs, cell phones, cars, and everywhere else become more powerful and run more standardized operating systems.

Looks like the Senate passed some anti-spam legislation. Here's a link to the text of the *cough* Controlling the Assault of Non-Solicited Pornography and Marketing Act of 2003 (CAN_SPAM). I have one word to say about this:

Useless.

Aside from the annoyingly stupid acronym, this is applying a legal solution to a technical problem. This might generate a little activity for a while, close down a few US-operated spam shops, maybe even put a fraction of a percent dent in the number of spam messages I receive. But, unlike the centralized, legislatable telephone system, the internet is highly decentralized and crosses all manner of international boundaries. In six months, whatever spammers are still in the U.S. will just move their operations offshore. Decent ISPs don't generally put up with spammers taking all their bandwidth anyhow, so most spam these days comes from one of two places: other countries (which we have no jurisdiction over) or hacked computers (already illegal, at least in those areas we have jurisdiction over). So a few Congressmen are going to pat themselves on the back, we'll make a few lawyers richer, and nothing else will change.

Actually, I take that back. I haven't read the full text of this thing yet (55 pages, yowch), but I would be concerned with people who get their computers hacked (or infected by some worm) being prosecuted for their machines sending spam they were unaware of. Hmm.. maybe this will be a boon to the computer forensics industry. Nevermind, nothing to see here...

Currently Reading: Quicksilver (The Baroque Cycle, Vol. 1), by Neal Stephenson

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sat, 29 Nov 2003 08:17:54 GMT

Just wanted to take a second to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving... with all that's screwy in the world, and everything we take for granted on a daily basis, it's nice to sit back occasionally and marvel that, somehow or other, we've all managed to survive this long, and most of us have family and friends that care.

So here's giving thanks for all the wonderful people I have in my life... I hope the next year brings more of the same. :)

Thoughts on Election Security

Wed, 29 Oct 2003 21:30:48 GMT

I've taken a particular interest lately in election and voting security. Since we have an election coming up, I figured I'd talk about it a little...

There has been a huge push in the last 5 years or so to move to electronic voting schemes, and even "e-voting" over the Internet. These seem like great options, and they may make voting much more convenient, but unless handled properly these technologies can make election fraud awfully easy.

There are three important aspects to any election that are of paramount concern:
Confidentiality - not allowing others to know the votes cast by an individual.
Accuracy - Correctly tabulating votes
Auditability - Keeping a record trail (usually on paper), that can be verified in case of a dispute

Confidentiality is important - not only because people may want to keep their vote to themselves - but to avoid voters being pressured into voting a certain way. For example, if Jenna Bush knows that her father (or the press) can find out how she voted, she may be more likely to vote for Republican candidates, even if she's a closet Libertarian.

Accuracy can't be overstated - if I push the button for "Gore", and the machine tabulates a vote for "Bush"... well, that's what the whole hanging chad mess was about.

Auditability is also highly important, and often overlooked. In the 2000 presidential vote, when controversy about the ballots in Florida arose, it was at least possible to go back and look at the paper ballots, even if the recounting wasn't handled very well. With a lot of new electronic voting machines, they don't keep any auditable trail at all. If I push the button for "Gore", and I suspect the machine tabulated a vote for "Bush", I have no way of verifying this one way or the other.

I believe that the only proven way to have a confidential, accurate, and auditable election is to make everyone come down the their local voting center, either make a mark on paper or use a machine that does, and have those machines continually examined and certified by third-party experts.

Lately, the number of vote-by-mail registrations has been on the rise. Busy people have learned that this is more convenient than taking time out of their day to go down to their local voting center. While it does make things more convenient, this is an abuse of the system by not ensuring confidentiality. If myself and my wife both send away for vote-by-mail pamphlets, and I sit down and fill both of them out myself before sending them in, then I have essentially voted twice and nobody is likely to notice. Worse yet, my boss or my local political party could pressure me to vote a certain way by paying me or threatening my job or membership. If I have a vote-by-mail pamphlet they could pressure me to bring it to the office for "verification".

Before you go thinking this stuff doesn't actually happen...

The Italian Mafia has been found using cameraphones to "buy" votes. They meet a voter outside the polling place and give them a picturephone. When the voter enters the booth and votes, they send back a picture of their card as proof.

In Hearne, Texas, suspicions were raised when polls showed that 45% of the city residents registered to vote (an unusually high number), AND nearly 50% of those registered to vote by mail. Upon examination, it appears one person signed 27 absentee ballots. Another signed 6, and various extended families all had absentee ballots signed by one individual. One man received an absentee ballot he never requested, and the request form had been signed by someone other than himself. Many absentee ballots were sent in by people who appear to have moved elsewhere some time before the election.

This is for a municipal election in a town with 4,690 residents. Not exactly a nationally publicized event. At least they have paper ballots they can audit, and examine for evidence. If the voters had used Diebold machines, or voted via the Internet, with no paper backups, election officials would be unable to do anything but hold another election, with as equally unverifiable results.

Here is some miscellaneous information on electronic voting in Washington State, for those who are interested:

A list of washington counties and what brand of voting system they use.
(Note that "Global Election Systems" was renamed to "Diebold" in 2001, although that change is not reflected in this document. Their machine brand is the "GLOBAL ACCUVOTE", and is used by King County)

Company propaganda on the AccuVote AVTS-R6 DRE Touchscreen is available here.

Leaked Diebold company memos, and controversy about Diebold's buggy and paper-trailless voting machines are available courtesy of Slashdot (here), Wired (here), and Wired again (a followup article to the previous link - here).

"Examining Internet Voting in Washington" by David M. Elliott - Washington State Assistant Director of Elections

"The Electronic Vote" - http://www.secstate.wa.gov/elections/pdf/sec_newsletter-.pdf
Quote: "Federal law requires every state in the nation to set up one DRE (Direct Recording Equipment) per poll site by 2006 because of the benefits these voting systems provide to those with disabilities."

The Federal "Help America Vote" Act requires three major changes in the election process nationwide (from The Olympian):

-Phase-out of punch-card ballots, to be replaced with touch-screen or paper ballots with optical scan technology to read them.

-Creation of state-wide voter registration lists to ensure that only valid voters receive ballots.
(This is a good idea, but is easily abused - there is much controversy over thousands of black voters in the state of Florida that were removed from state voting lists for being erroneously classified as felons).

-Installation of DRE (Direct Recording Equipment) systems that let blind people vote without having to rely on someone to read them the ballot. At least one system per polling site must be set up with audio equipment to guide the voter through the ballot, in accordance with the American with Disabilites Act.

More information on the "HAV" act is available here.

310 days...

Wed, 29 Oct 2003 21:25:43 GMT

Had this post floating around on a floppy disk for about a week... got an "A" on my first test this quarter -- woohoo!!!

Went to go check out The Neo Project and see how they were getting along with their distributed cracking of Microsoft's XBox software-signing key, and apparently they've given up and their site has been taken over by the Man himself. That's unfortunate, I was rooting for them.

Been busy busy with classes.. let me relay some of the miscellaneous interesting things I've learned. (Note that these are not necessarily in the class curriculum)

Boeing logs all incoming and outgoing internet traffic from their facilities for 90 days.

The U.S. Government considers the locations of cosmetics factories to be sensitive information because they can easily be converted to chemical weapons factories.

The Rules of Evidence Collection in Washington state are the same as those mandated by federal law.

If an e-mail sits on an ISP server for more than 180 days without being read, it becomes "public" property.

The standard for the host-protected area of a hard drive is named the Protected Area Run Time Interface Extension Services.

A related BIOS standard (by the same organization) is named the Boot Engineering Extension Record.

Verisign is evil. I may write more on this later.

325 days...

Tue, 14 Oct 2003 21:22:08 GMT

Dang, I'm tired. *Yawn*. Seems like no matter how early I set my alarm, Sage wakes up an hour before that.

Took Sage to see an IMAX movie the other day.. it was a 1/2 hour long, and she managed to sit through the whole thing, with the help of some caramel corn. She's just so dang cute! Every day when I come home she runs up to me and puts her hands up in the air so we can play her little game. I'll grab her hands and she'll walk backwards until she trips or I knock her over and let her down to the floor. Then I lift her back up, and we do it over and over, walking her backwards around the house. It's our little game, and I look forward to it every night when I get home...

I saw an ad in the paper yesterday for a 200GB Hard Drive for $127. Holy Crap! 200GB!!! Now I look on Fry's website, and see they have 250GB drives! Let's look around a little bit... Yep, here we are... 300 freakin' GB!!!

I'd run out and buy one right now, except for two things: one, I don't know what the hell I'd do with 300GB of hard drive space, and two, I don't think my current motherboard would support it. The BIOS in recent motherboards will only support 28-bits of address. 2^(28-1) = 134,217,728, or about 130 GB. So, you need to get a motherboard that supports Super ATA (SATA) like this one, or find out if your Motherboard has a BIOS update that will allow larger addresses. Aside from that, you'll need a plug-in PCI SATA or RAID controller card. If you're running Windows, you need XP service pack 1 to support SATA. SATA should support a maximum hard drive size of 144,000GB (!!!), or 140 Terabytes. At the current rate of progress (an order of magnitude approximately every five years), we should have drives that big around 2015. Following the same logic, we should have CPU's running at about 160GHz by then as well.

The RIAA is doomed.

Not to mention the proliferation of Jumpdrives. These things have gone from nothing to 1GB in a couple of years. I think that in a few more years we'll be using solid-state hard drives for applications that require more reliable storage, although they'll be more expensive, smaller, and slower than their rotating-disc counterparts...

Let's see what else... classes are going well so far, I'm into my third week. It's funny how recent Information Security really is, as a field. I took all sorts of engineering and development classes for my degrees at Oregon Tech, and I don't remember anyone ever mentioning security. I mean, they had logins for the labs and the school network, but nobody ever mentioned buffer overflows, SQL injection attacks, encryption, corporate espionage, or anything remotely related to system security that you should be aware of as a software or hardware engineer. So it's interesting, now, revising my "engineering" worldview with security considerations in mind.

For instance, I did a couple of summer internships, my sophmore and junior years, for a local software company. While there, I wrote a lot of perl-based CGI scripts that parsed URLs, used that information to access databases, and constructed web sites on the fly. Looking back now, I'm sure that everything I wrote was horridly insecure, and I really hope that someone has replaced that code since, or at least done a security audit on it. If you're going to write software these days, security has to be a concern.

Speaking of which, off to school...